Another rule for dating at midlife is that you should take people for who they are, not what they're growing into. Most of them are no longer growing.<div><br></div><div>A young man at 25 is finding himself. A man at 52 is living his life. What you see is what you get. Do not buy into promises of fortunes to come or business deals he’s working on.</div><div><br></div><div>A girl at 22 may get pregnant without knowing what she’s doing. A woman at 35 is just living her life. Including that unplanned pregnancy with a married boyfriend. That’s a part of her poor boundaries and weak morals. Marrying her won’t cure it.</div><div><br></div><div>Grownups operate from their mentality and patterns, not naivety or influence by environment. Even if you carry them to another place, they will create the same lifestyle there.</div><div><br></div><div>By midlife, most people have settled into their habits.</div><div><br></div><div>Change is possible but highly unlikely. You’re safer not banking on it.</div><div><br></div><div>Take people as they are or leave them where they are.</div><div><br></div><div>Cc: Benjamin.</div>